The Emotion That Staggers Me

We all witness serious reactions to life altering events. I have experienced my share of acute emotions, but the one that has staggered me most is depression.

Bouts of depression have debilitated me. The irony of that is it was caused by what turns out to be the least serious events.

Actually there is only one kind of event that causes it: My fear of losing money.

More of that in a moment.

My physical reaction follows a consistent pattern. I would have adrenaline rushes which in turn would disrupt and starve my brain of serotonin (the “happy” chemical).

Adrenaline is a hormone in your body that alerts you to danger. Humans have had reserves of adrenaline since the earliest of times. When our early ancestors sensed danger (and I mean early like 300 thousand years ago), it evoked a fear response that in turn sparked a surge of adrenaline. The adrenaline ordered the body to fight or flee. It’s the hormone of adrenaline that is one of the major reasons humans have survived long enough to fully evolve to what we are today.

I can literally feel adrenaline shooting through my body under certain stressful conditions. When I have this hormonal surge, I act instinctually. I lock in on the threat and begin to attack it. Not with rocks and spears and fire to fight off saber tooth tigers, but by confronting issues that are challenging the financial well being of my companies, investments, real estates projects and consulting contracts. For example, when there was the 2008 real estate meltdown, my wife and I owned a fledgeling construction and real estate development company. At the time we had seven projects underway, all with loans and mortgages attached to them. Approximately 4 million dollars was at a serious risk of being lost. My wife and I were the guarantors of both the money and the projects.

Immediately, I met with my wife and our general manager and made a thirty day action plan for each property. Then we would chop through the action plan and meet every twenty four hours to assess progress. After about six months we protected two projects by purchasing them with our own funds, sold off four more for a modest profit, and ultimately sold a large piece of bare land at a tolerable loss. All good from the standpoint of preserving our personal wealth and continuing to grow it.

However, while working through the action plan, I could feel a squall settling in on me emotionally. Evidently the adrenaline, a hormone, which courses through the bloodstream had started to disrupt the chemical balance In my brain. One of the important chemicals produced in the brain is serotonin which acts as a stabilizing influence on your moods. The Serotonin was disrupted and I could almost immediately feel a sense of depression overtaking me.

My wife demanded that I go to our family doctor to see what help he could offer. He did. He first gave me Lorazepam (strong) that cleared up my depression in what seemed like minutes. Then he gave me a permanent antidepressant called SSRI (Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitor). Bottom line: It allowed Serotonin to be conserved in the gaps between the brain’s neurons. I’ve been on that since maybe around 2008.

Can I say that all’s well that ends well? Not exactly. I don’t need to take on any more entrepreneurial ventures in my life. But, I continue to do so. I understand the risks. But for the creative and wealth growing experiences I derive from my work I continue to engage in it.

Am I tempting fate?

Yes.

So why do it?

If there’s something you love doing, and it helps people by creating employment large and small, there’s no way I’ll stop doing it. I’ll manage the risk.

Probably A Bad Idea To Criticize President Trump – Plenty Of Time To Do That Afterwards