I am a firm believer that we need to continue using new ideas to understand ourselves.
The great myth is, “We are who we are.”
No. The reality is we remain a mystery to ourselves. We can’t quite figure ourselves out. Or, at least I can’t.
As a result, I’m always on the hunt for new insights about myself.
So I have yet another new idea I’m trying out:
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld observed that people who are comedians work at understanding themselves, while actors observe people in order to play different characters.
Interesting idea. I was once an actor (even a professional one for a short season) and a comedian (yes, a comedian in my own eyes.) And of the two, I have the comedian’s soul. All my life, when I’m in front of a group of people, I almost always end up telling a funny story where I become the object of the humor.
So according to the Seinfeld model I guess I’m trying to understand myself. I’ve made my living speaking, teaching, lecturing, and consulting in front of groups. The themes of my subjects are serious, but somewhere in the presentation I will remember a funny story, at least to me, and I can’t resist telling it.
For example, here’s a story I told when I was on the lecture circuit. “Sometimes when I was growing up, I would pop off to guys older than I was, or at least tougher than I was, which sometimes got them mad at me. It took all the negotiating skill I had to get out of those situations. There were times when that didn’t work, so I would stand there in silence, hoping it wouldn’t come to blows. You know what that taught me? Silence doesn’t work, but not popping off does.”
I told it to a policemen’s group. They laughed. If fact they laughed pretty hard.
So, as a result, do I have a better understanding of myself? Not really. I’m still a mystery to myself. And sometimes I still pop off. So much for Seinfeld model.