What I Have Obsessed Over All My Life

Pool that pool, . . . those whose friendship I wanted most, I frustrated most, because I said,no, no swimming in the pool, no, not in my pool. He brought his towel and swim suit, I told him we would swim in my pool, but then I said no, you cannot swim in my pool. I frustrated this guy whose friendship I wanted, and I think he wanted friendship too. He was one of the three most inspirational guys I had ever run across, and I did not share my pool with him. He was a world class swimmer too. Do you know why I said no? That was a time when my parents drank the most, and I was embarrassed to bring my peers  to my home to swim in my pool. (Do I fault my parents for drinking? Not in the least. It was their home, THEIR pool, their money, their time, their joy. I just should have invited the guy to swim in the pool, fool.) Polio, polio, . . . for decades after polio, I did not think about my polio. Then I thought about my polio. I didn’t think about my polio because I thought I had overcome my polio. Then I started thinking about my polio. I thought a lot about my polio. Why did I start thinking about my polio? I hadn’t overcome my polio, I had repressed my polio. Pop off, big pop off. . . I honestly did not think that I was a pop off. But my thinking about myself clarified when I realized I was a pop off. I’m still a pop off, but controlled my pop offing by becoming a person who made money by listening and not popping off. When I was finished listening, I started popping off again. But, popping off is a young man’s game. My popping off is tailing off, because sometimes I can’t remember what I’m popping off about.