I’m Absolutely Sure About This

Comedians are superior thinkers to philosophers (especially philosophers), scientists, gurus, management consultants (by just a hair) and politicians (poor devils).

Comedians speak behind the words of everyday language. Comedians say what people want to say but use boring,meaningless, redundant, and bland words to say it. Unless you are a gifted comedian, say as little as possible, which means don’t say anything. If you do, it’s probably wrong.

Harsh, but it’s funny when a comedian says it. We play chess when we speak, which means it’s complicated to uncover our true intent. However, a comedian plays checkers. It’s simple, straightforward, and true.

What do I really think about philosophers? They’re sincere in their search for truth. But, for all their words, every fifth one is in a foreign language that doesn’t even appear in their own dictionary.

As for scientists, I don’t have anything against them. 99% of them are mad because they’ve never discovered anything. Hence, they lack words worth sharing.

Gurus? They’re all TV chefs anymore. If their words have the ring of phoniness, then they turn to meeting the true needs of humans, cooking food.

Management consultants? I’m covering for them. I was one for thirty-five years. All the jokes you’ve heard about consultants are true.

Politicians – if you’ve never done anything else in your life but be a politician, you’ll end up a drunk, because you’re trying to forget all the lies you’ve had to tell.

Ah, The Joy Of Being Reminded Of How Old I Am