I don’t know how this happened, but one time in my management consulting career I found myself giving motivational speeches to people in sales. (Just an aside: most all the jobs in today’s world are sales jobs.)
Anyway . . . one time when I was riffing (just saying anything that popped into my mind), I said with tough guy bravado, “Whenever there’s money on the table, I believe I deserve all of it. Until you believe that too, you’ll never make enough money.”
I had never said anything like that in my entire life. Was that just motivational jive, or down deep did I really believe that?
The word “deserve” has a negative connotation. It’s associated with words like entitlement. Generally, people don’t believe they are entitled or deserve anything.
On the one hand, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to use these kinds of words to get people’s attention. That’s especially the case with salespeople who have to go out everyday and create new business.
Words are the only things we have in life. And when they become predictable, they are of little effect.
But, using opposite words to what is anticipated changes the chemistry in the room. People stop and listen. And that was what I was paid to do – to get people to listen.
However, on the other hand, for me the truth is probably deeper than that. “Deserve” is not only an opposite word, it is the right word.
It’s what one should reasonably say in life’s quest for attainment.
Frankly, it’s when I finally admitted what I really thought, but had repressed, that I had a breakthrough. It’s when I admitted to myself that I deserve that money as much as the next guy. That was the moment I had the determination to go out and get it.
Totalitarian governments and many religions use words like “gratitude,” as in “you should be grateful for your blessings,” in order to control group behavior when blessings are in short supply.
In reality, not until you believe you deserve something, will you launch out independently with sufficient motivation to pursue what is rightfully yours. It means you are done following and obeying. Just the opposite: you’re ready to act in your own self interest.
Yes, indeed, I believe I deserve every last dollar on that table. And I’m willing to exert every last ounce of effort I possess to take it off the table. Have I succeeded? Yes, and I didn’t start on that quest until I was 39 years old.
Reaching Seventy And Beyond Is Rewarding And Hard At The Same Time