You can write new ideas in an average way, or you can repeat an idea and try hard to write it in an excellent way. If I can do the latter, I have done the right thing.
My name is Roger Hendrix and I have lived three separate secret lives that I am now confessing to:
1. BIG TIME RELIGION WARRIOR versus SOCIAL CRUSADER versus ENTREPRENEUR ADVENTURER
I had stepped away from fall semester of my sophomore year in college after failing to secure the lead in the college play. To justify my decision, I pretended to have an ulcer.
Knocking about, I found myself signing up for an LDS religion class adjacent to California State University at Long Beach. At one point I was sitting in the classroom, and a feeling of warmth came over me. I interpreted that as a spiritual sign that my particular religion was true; so on the spot, I made a deal with myself: I was prepared to follow the church’s commandments in exchange for the enhanced meaning the church would give to my life.
From that point (I was 18), I adhered strictly to the church’s rules in my daily behavior; and as I advanced in leadership positions (Mormon leadership positions are powerful) I worked to ensure members followed those rules too. I became a bona fide religion warrior.
I was extremely happy as a religion warrior, but secretly I was a flaming social liberal. Hence I was only extremely happy, but not completely happy.
One day I woke up (literally), and realized that the church’s very top leadership was abnormally CONSERVATIVE, and that their positions on social issues, rather than being purely theologically driven, were also politically driven. I concluded that this orientation would not change in my lifetime.
The main issues were and are: the disposition toward African Americans, that they were inferior, thus rendering them unworthy to hold the priesthood of God; the political campaigning to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment, which carries over to this day blocking women from significant positions of power and authority; and last, the outright hostility displayed toward homosexuals, and the complete rejection of their need for human affection and acceptance.
My confession is that I should have started challenging these political sans theological issues far sooner. I held myself back because of my steady progress in ecclesiastical ascent. More on this later.
Let me describe what I think a religion warrior is: First, a warrior puts his dedication to the build up of Zion over everything else, including his family; Next, You are literally willing to sacrifice your life for the gospel’s sake – the desire to become a martyr would be a glorious way to end life; Third, you are willing to give up your worldly riches to go any place in the world to do the leadership’s bidding; Last, you participate in worldly affairs, but only as a means to use those resources for the benefit of the building up of the kingdom of God on earth. All this adds up to focusing entirely on building a theocratic civilization on earth in preparation for the second coming of Jesus Christ.
I was all of this and more. Much more. There was no end to how much more I wanted to do. But then, like Ebenezer Scrooge seeing ghosts of Christmas past, my subconscious started forcing up images of a different self.
At the time I was a full time faculty member in the church’s education system, and these images came in the form of latent desires to make money. WHAT? Not about challenging the church as social crusader on the social issues that caused me so much angst? No, instead, I opted out of being a religion warrior for becoming an entrepreneur adventurer.
Being an entrepreneur adventurer is more dangerous than being a religion warrior. The risk factor is enormous. Financially, there is nothing between you and the cliff. No guarantees of money. You go out and hunt daily for your next meal. It was a completely different mindset, but one that took surprisingly little time to adjust to. I seemed to know how to do it instinctively. It’s hunt or starve.
My wife and I, with the temporary help of a partner and a generous sponsor, were able to create a management consulting firm that would over time make us wealthy.
A warrior versus an adventurer. They both brought out my animal spirits. There was fire in the soul. There was determination beyond ability. There was accomplishment that made work satisfying.
But, at the same time, I stood down from becoming a social crusader. I fess up: I was not the social crusader I thought I was. I was no Martin Luther of the Mormon church. At the age of 39, I had become a full blown entrepreneur.
Next week: 2. BEING A MYSTIC OF MYSTICS.