I will not bad mouth another person behind their back. I won’t do it In front of them either. I talk about ideas, not people. I talk about myself, not to brag but to make jokes about myself. When I’m bored, I like a little bit of gossip to get life going. So, with the addition of the gossip thing, nothing we might say about ourselves is perfect.
.
When I’m at a football game, I try to make friends with the people sitting in front of me, so if I have to ask them to sit down during the game, it doesn’t result in an argument. I learned that the hard way. I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve had good seats at the football game, but it’s better watching the game on tv. Television technology has improved so much that you see almost all the players each play. Today, I buy a lot of tickets so that my grandkids get to be together for an entire season. I think they’ll remember that all their lives. My son has one of those great big twelve passenger vans. We all pack ourselves in and sing all the way to the game. Once we’re there, even though we’re Ute fans, we yell out for the other team. We say, go Bruins, etc. all in fun. It cracks the grandkids up. It cracks me up too. Anyway, we’re safe in the van. I keep the tickets with me, so the kids won’t scatter. They pretty much all stay together until we get inside the stadium. And then they go wild.
.
I don’t walk in front of my wife. I used to when I was in a hurry, but when I saw other husbands do it, I backed off. I don’t open the car door for her though. Sometimes she opens the door for me. I have back problems now and then. I open doors for her. Sometimes I wonder why I do that. I like doing that for her. It’s a sign of affection. She now drives the car. That has been a complex negotiation between the two of us. To begin, she hates that I brake with my left foot and gas with the right. She says it’s a sign of my right leg losing coordination (a result of polio). I tell her it’s how race car drivers do it. That was a mistake on my part. I think she also thinks I’ve become a bit too slow with my reflexes because of the meds I take. One is a low dose antidepressant. Last, I don’t like driving anymore, so any reason for not doing it works.
.
I’m consistent in my demeanor. I act the same way. What you see is what you get. But there is one exception. Sometimes, not all the time, I’ve tried to impress the President of the Mormon church. Two things happen. One, they aren’t impressed. That’s because most everyone tries to impress them. They’re immune to that kind of behavior. Two, when I’m done trying to be impressive, I go away wishing I could knock myself out with an overhand right to my ear. Phoney, phoney, phoney. But then again there have been times I’ve made up for it. My wife and I went into an office to be set apart as a mission president Santiago, Chile. President Gordon B .Hinckley was there to do the setting apart. It happened to be his birthday. Well wishers would pop in and out. So my wife wanted to do the same. She tried to say happy birthday in her new found language of Spanish. Instead of saying happy birthday, she said merry Christmas. I started laughing. Instead of correcting her, I said something like “She’s getting a head start on things.” It was July. We all laughed. .
