There are at least five bad habits which must be tamed as we grow to maturity:
Bad Habits We Must All Try To Overcome
There are at least five bad habits which must be tamed as we grow to maturity:
1. Gaslighting: telling unsuspecting people they didn’t see what they actually saw. This is very common. Dictators use it to cover up misdeeds. Cheating spouses use it to get out of compromised exposure. The give away is when someone says, “ that’s not what I meant.” Or, “that’s not what happened.” Or, “Let me tell you what it really means.”
For example, one of my religious leaders told me that there are times when
premeditated murder is justified when carrying out the will of god? Why
did he say that? Because one of our church leaders planned out a murder
of over one hundred people in Utah. I asked him, isn’t murder always
murder? No, he said, murder is not always murder. Really? Nonsense.
2. Losing your temper: bursting out in anger. In reality there is never a reason to do so. Believe it or not, there is no known justification for losing one’s temper. Yet, we all do. Why? It’s the most common way we try to manipulate the behavior of others, especially our small children.
When my children were young I had the habit of quickly barking at them
when I had run out of patience with them. When they were adults they
would remind me of that. Life always circles back on you.
3. Over promising: saying you can accomplish something without knowing
if you can. The most common error in business. We overpromise because
we believe it will help us get ahead. In reality, this is the most common
reason for losing your job.
I did this when I was growing up. I did it in sports and in my early business
career. It worked in sports until it didn’t. When it didn’t I found myself in the
last lane. In business, I lost contracts because I couldn’t deliver. One
time, the president of a company asked me to perform a project I knew I
couldn’t accomplish in the time allotted. I told him so. I didn’t finish the
project on time. The corporate president dinged me for it. I told him I
wouldn’t be able to do it in the allotted time. He then gave this classic
answer, “You didn’t say it loudly enough.” By the time I was 40, my days of
getting caught in those conundrums was over.
4.Explaining: persuading people to your point when trying to win a point. This is a common misperception. For the well informed, this is evidence that points of view cannot stand on their own. There is a phrase I often use: when you are explaining you are losing. The philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein cautioned, “whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must remain silent.” Say what you think you must say in one sentence, then shut up.
I plead guilty.
5. Bragging: sharing your accomplishments when not asked. This is the most common mistake made in human relations. We love telling others about our children’s triumphs, our own accomplishments, etc. Listening to this litany is the most unwelcome information from the receiving side. If you’re not asked to share something about your “glorious” life, don’t.
Again I plead guilty.
Visualizing Yourself In A Different State Of Being Is Profound: Visualization 4