Since I can remember, I have been playful. What’s the opposite of playful? Serious.
Underneath my playfulness is a serious soul.
With what have I been playful? My religion.
Were I to act seriously with religion, I would be in constant turmoil.
Playfulness is a defense mechanism with which I was able to protect my doubts.
I am ambitious.
The struggle I had with my religion was, it rewarded my
ambition while scolding me for possessing it.
I am guilty of envy.
I harbored envy for certain people I wanted to be like.
I felt guilty for my envy. But envy is good (thanks, Nietzsche). It drove me to be better.
I didn’t reach their heights, I reached my own.
When you push yourself to the limit of your own capacity, you start to know yourself.
When I decided to put square pegs in square holes, life started making sense to me.
I stopped shaving and forcing my thinking. No more round pegs in square holes.
5. My bout with crippling polio:
I ignored it because it didn’t help me.
“Wishing doth not make it so.” Not so, unless you wish it, it will not be so.
What’s at the center? Nothing. It’s just dough with which to create stuff. What stuff? Anything you want.
8. Surprises and contradictions:
Part of life is made up of surprises and contradictions. Best way to live with them? Dive into them. Dance every dance with them. Use up every bit of life in my spite of them. A fully lived life becomes bigger than life’s surprises and contradictions.
I’m lucky that’s all I can say. But there are those who said I was dealt a bad hand in life. You know what gamblers say about that: keep playing, your hand will change. My life has hit streaks of luck again and again.
I believe in those soothing voices coming into my head.
I believe in everything and anything to get me through the day.
Even prescription medication taken at minimum levels leaves me lethargic after a time.
On the other hand, forty sit ups and thirty push-ups gives me a good feeling. Making the bed, washing the dishes, taking a shower, getting dressed also gets my day going. A big bowl of fruit (blueberries included) with whipped cream and an acai berry cream green tea are part of a good morning.
I only know what I directly experience. And then only after I have thought about it, a lot.
I like the miracles of the bible. I don’t believe any of them literally happened back then, but they got us humans thinking about miracles. Once we think, we find ways to perform miracles.
I don’t like the negativity of the bible. Stuff like the end of the world. The last Great War. Damnation of sinners. Hard to figure out what good such thoughts produce.
My greatest gift has been to learn to read. My next greatest gift? Reading.
I am a writer. How did that happen? By writing.
I like business because it’s honest. You meet a need, you get paid. You don’t, you won’t. Money is the measure of agreement between two humans. It’s not the only one, but it’s a good one. Even in a marriage. Especially in a marriage.
I don’t fully trust anyone who is paid to represent something. I trust people who create things, but only about the thing they have created.