What makes us happy is the sum total of our good experiences.
What makes us sad is the sum total of our bad experiences.
Which is greater determines whether we have had a happy life or a sad life.
What is real, however, is what is at the center of each of us. That’s who we are. That overrides all experiences.
What if we can’t get to the center; we leave only having had experiences, which is a crapshoot.