Lose Yourself To Find Yourself; Or, Understand Yourself To Find Yourself?

Christian theology is insightful
when it says: lose yourself,
and you shall find yourself in Him:

For those of us who have strived to
find ourselves by understanding ourselves,
the admonition to lose ourselves
Is dissonant.

To lose yourself in Him
has its merits. He asks us to
love Him and to
love our neighbor; In this
we shall find joy.

Still I long to find
myself by working to
understand myself.

Finding yourself by understanding yourself
is difficult.

I have often wondered, is there a self within?

The closer I come to time running down,
and the luxury of quiet is finally here,
yes, there are moments
I have found myself within myself.

I find myself and I lose what
I thought I prized most –
As my eyes touch
any object I feel unity between it
and me. Plants, trees, animals,
enemies, even those who have hurt me.

I touch my wife on her arm while
we are falling asleep, lightly rubbing
It as we doze off.
it is like the first
time I have touched her soft skin.
It is like starting to know her all over again.

I look into my little grandson’s eyes, and
peer into them more deeply than any time before.
I love you, I say, you are so beautiful.
I love you. He responds softly, “I
love you grandpa.”

Yes, to find yourself,
is worth the struggle
to understand yourself.